It's not a matter of choice

I didn't want to sound like a cry baby... but right now.. the tears are giving in to the law of gravity...

Who says memories are fond... it's so not true.. I'm thinking of Daddy again, but wad trigger it was being told by a friend that i am lonely & needed a bf

It sparks me off with the thought of.it's not true..it hit me hard.. i am still missing Daddy badly..real badly.... It could be cos 3rd Uncle had been so nice coming over to fetch me from Chinatown to Vivo to watch a movie..shopping ard...paying for all my expenses like what Daddy used to.. fetch me from here to there..encouraging with little treats to make me work harder for better academic results..
This thought.. i just couldn't help crying.. Memories do hurt as well.. memories of someone whom you wished is still around..

I seriously think i am lacked of love... a fatherly love.. which i was deprived at the age of 15... replaced by a hard-hearted slut.. i nv seem to know what is family love.. many says luxuries is having a wild shopping spree in paris, new york or even Japan.. My luxury is to have family love.. which is so far-fetched... nv attainable....tis is nv a matter of choice...i can't control my heart not to respond to hurt....................