Moving HOuSE!!!!!

Yeah~~~~~ Moving house~~.. But only helping Ft to pack his stuff into boxes....

everything also dump into boxes.. hahahaha

Oo..finally got to see mike again after ft's bday in march...Mia in MSN..
teased him about blocking me..

Packing till quite late...

McDee for dinner.. the boys' treat.. starting joking on the occasion when we went MOS...

Had alot of fun & laugh till my sides ached.

These are my best friends in crime.... hahah of gosssiping & daring stunts...

I Love them for being with me.. crapping with me... & lastly loving me as well!!!


To someone, when you lose your friends who cares.. it would be such a sad thing... you may think you will be able find others...but what are the chances?
Treasure your friends while you still have them. Some things have no room for regrets...

Overall : Great day both at work & after...

can't wait to see my hair stylist to have my tresses trimmed... i am thinking of having a shorter length... so blardy HOT

KOoO KoOo .iep ask me wait.. & she will shower ... so sleepy right at this moment.. basket... slap her silly tml..

OOOO KAY. TIME TO GO.. NEED TO PAINT MY NAILS!

Being HomE LaTe...is heaven..

1/2 hr to knock off~~ appears on my MSN of my workstation.. Cheery Geraldine chirpingly msg me....so much difference from her earlier msg.. " I just got screwed by my Boss!!!"

My Reply : "OuCh... it's must have been painful!!!" ( cheekily )
Her reply : Ha ha...it's not funny..
My reply: " BUt u laffed right?"
Her reply: it nv came.......

Drats... the same time of the day is worst than the same time of the month... home not-so-sweet home time

I have completed the not-so-urgent task & i have nothing to help me to act busy further

Pick up the handset & called Jane.. hahaha.. Hoping she will answer as usually she does not pick up foreign numbers..

Someone picked up the line...silence...

"Heeeeellll Looooo i croaked....

the other line : whose this....
Me: it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....me .me me me me...
Jane: "Ah B ah!!!!" *giggles* & then "knn"
Me: Wow kao...no reason tio meh...
Jane: you know i dun picked up strange numbers..
Me: yuh.. but now u picked up wad....
Jane: .............

Lubbish talks after this....ended up we met up at bugis.. for dinner..

Jane " What to eat..."
Me: Loin already..eat cheap cheap 1...
Jane: KFC~~!!
Me.. OKAy~~~ (enthusiastically) earlier i have cravings for KFC..
Jane: knsai.. no wonder okay till so enthu..
Me: heheee heehee

Dinner over..sit ard talk lubbish..as usual..
She knew i didn't want to go home early...neither does she..
we stay ard at the joint till ard 10 plus b4 we head towards the bus stop. while smoking away..haahaa..sound so junkie right...

On the bus.. ft called..conf. with pei..
Plans on going ft's place to pack his things b4 moving to Sengkang...FREAK.. now all of them are in SengKang.. N me.. still at this Shithole.. it's okie.. i will be able to move out in dec. i hope..arghh..

Open the gate.. silence..no oldshoecheesepiesmellycunthole slut face.. no dinner.. no bang bang..GOOD.. i feel so much happier..

See.. if i'm home later.. it's peace. no angst...

Do you call such a place a home? no

I just called it a place whereby i eat, sleep & shit.

Signing off..

i should not have come home this early

It's was half past six when i looked at my workdesk clock... drats.. i dun wish to go home this early.

It's not fear.. it's just the blardie slut back at the house that i dunche wish to see cuZ it would surely end up me being pissed upon see her dare-u-come-slap-me fuck face.

True enuff, the moment i open the door, it was dark & the lights from the corridor cast its glitters on dining table laden with feast... too bad.. I'm not the little match gal from the fable tales..

In fact i was irked by the smell that sprang & bang right into my skin. CURRY.. freaking unhealthy,,, i hope she choked on her cooking or even end up having runs after comsumption. or even grow FAT & die FAT

from her room, out she came, as if i'm Gonna GOBBLe down her Cooking, she dsashed into the Kitchen to get the containers to keep the food.. & at the same time delibrately bang the containers on the table to show her discontent to me.

Imeediately went into my room & bang the door without casting an glance at her... form the commotion in the hall, she switched on the telly to catch the local free to air channel..Wadeva,, she can watch it all she wants & i'm not going to unlocked the scv channels.

I'm contemplating to d/c scv totally. i really need to move out by December.. Geraldine is right.. b4 i drive her nuts.. she has already driven me crazy..pissed..

Why are some mummies lydat.. what the fuck are they thinking up there? they treasure being fucked by cocks more than they value their flesh & blood. Gaw darn it.. i envy those sweet mummies.. which most of my friends has.

I saw my colleague's sweetness to her dotter.. WAd DUh!.. why mine is like Half-Fuck-Rotten.

Now in my room.. the headache is building up.. i am just so pissed.. Geraldine was trying to cheer me up on msn with dumb chinese proverb.. which i totally am DUH to them...she end being scolded by me... but i really do appreciate her crappiness to cheer me up. I blurted out to Sunand in a fit of exasperation to find a nice old dying man to marry me to bring me out of this SHITHOLE *Sighz*

all i know now.. i'm so fuming that my body is burning up & my skin feels scorching hot.

My only worry now.. is Sushi.. my aunt asked why do u want a dog? why not just use that amount of money you have used on your dog 7 used it on me..would'nt it be better

I dun blame her.. the women from the maternal side has no loving heart for animals. cos they have fear in them.

she doesn't know that Daddy is indirectly the reason to keeping Sushi with me.. I've lost girlgirl thanks to that fucking-cheesepie-smelly-numerous-fucked slut

I've only Sushi left in memory to Daddy.

In this world.. no one sees what i am seeing.. feels what i am feeling.. understands what i'm understanding..cried for what i have cried for..I'm alone . yes. that's true. I may have friends. but friends will always be friends..they will only listen.. not it just isn't the same like having Daddy ard.

I'm nv happy in this house.. not home.. I've no home since 1996.. the year daddy left. the very day home has came crashing down & in its place..it's just a battle field worst than war ..& there is only victim.. the 16 yr old me struggling to grow up to be tough & head-strong.

What would be me now..if that slut died instead.. i believe..things would be much different. I would get the father love i yearn for.......& not the me today...

the new week will be better.....

Day in day out ..same routines .. all over & done with...
Is my life gonna be like this for the next 10 years?
shudderrrrrr

As a matter of fact.. i can't remember wad i have done from MOnday to Friday.. oOo
Went KTV @ BIshan NTUC with me colleagues.. 7 of us.. cus i have a free room voucher...
I'm not going to fell for the free voucher trick again.. ended up each of us paid $20+..it's daylight robbery!! hell manzz..

Pictures of took of myself wasn't the better side of me except .. i looked soo FAT OOO kayyyy.. I'm fat.. & i have half my mind to go on a hard core diet like what i did 5 yrs ago..tremendous weight loss.. haha.. dun know if i still have that same energy to do so... Now i am telling myself that i should CUT AWAY.. yeah..CUT AWAY all the Carbs intake... beak into smaller meals.. just half filled balloon in me.. BUT FOOD.. i love to eat food.. love to gorge myself silly at times.. & let out a really *giggles*mindbooozingloudlyflabbergestering bletch... heehee.

NO.. i must constraint myself..restraint from carbs.. just proteins.. maybe just veg!

Something really unpleasant happened on sunday... that loserpieceofshittycuntholefullofworms SLUT went visiting at grans place for a reason, complains of me not letting her use the scv..complains of the mess Sushi made..complains every single thing..thinking i would give in to her like i used to..

FAT CHANCE!!!!!! u lousylowlifepieceofshitty SLUT!

I was pissed..forever pretending to be pathetic..forever going ard telling others i am unfilial... How to be filial when all she does was treat me like a leech.. how do you call someone family when all she cares is only abt herself.. her own welfare.. & only does good things to show off to others that she is someone good..

I am sick of her conniving ways.. i burst out to granny after she ask me during dinner why did i treat that fucking slut this way...

As usual, her complaints always consisted of what i have done to her, & subtly left out were the reasons behind for my actions

With my outburst emotions & vague details for the reason i did all those things.. My grans said "in those days when grandpa ill-treat her..she did not do the same like wad i did..." I looked at her..with disbelief...n retorted.."does mean grandpa ill-treat her..she has got the right to do the same to me..it's different now. & I'm not her."

HELLO~? she just JEALOUS that grandpa dotes me when he's very much alive..how dumb is She.. & she gets dumber as well.. in short.. i believed, she married daddy..just to escape harsh life with grandpa.. if she loves daddy.. she will not be ill-treating me like what she has been doing.. she will not have that dumb affair with that yeow gui seng,7 with his whole family coming over & creating a scene.. this still rang thru my mind very vividly.. i would nv forget those moments.. Aunt Juan asked me if i would ever forgive that slut/..

My answer is firmly said:-" NEVER..never in this lifetime..not even when she is dead!"

So much angst for this week.. i want a bettr new week..
Dear Guru Nanam, i want to be happy the whole of this week.. can you remove that bad lady from my life..once & for all. I'm worried i might just do something that i could not control if she were to incur my wrath again.. Thank you & signing off to bed.

Get Over it..& get out of ShitHole...

Someone quoted " ppl do change".. I'm loss for words.. change overnight? nice try.. BUT WHY M I NOY CONVINCED????

Reason being.... it happened b4.. just bcos one is confused... based on someone who stood up for you.. doesn't mean that you can throw your AP at me... doesn't mean in the past i would coax you to speak up ..I would do it again.. I'd get sick of doing such things.. why not for a change.. you come & coax me??? I ain't an expat for that trade.. & i dun even thing i did any WRONG to deserve this..

I am telling myself to get over & done with this whole incident.& also remind myself nv to bring a big bag when going clubbing.. just inviting unnecessary troubles.

One of my new year resolutions....i know it's a bit too early for that...but planning in advance does serve its advantage.. to save up & get out of this SHIT HOLE.. hard to let go.. cos of all daddy's memories.. but i think i had enough.. once i moved out.. i have nothing more to do with that SLUT..dirty lousy..stinko SLUT.. just my luck to have her genes inm e.. if science allow the alteration of eliminations of UNWANTED GENES.. i'd GLADLY remove hers.. cheesepie lousy..slimy ..digusting..SLUT...

I'm as guilty as pea... I haven been doing my meditation.. i mUST I MUST I MUST DO MY MEDITATION.. NOTHHING BAD CAN STOP ME... I must.. & i will get to do my meditation every morning & evening...

I must get to move out by this Dec..I want to be happy on my Bdsy.. a new place.. a brand new HOME.. & i shall no longer need to bear that scheming slut fREAKO FAce...

DahLings~~ gimme the strength to conquer all...

Guilt??

Every morning, the first issue that cringes me was my lateness... I nv failed to go back to sleep despite the fact i woke up as early as 6am... something inside me just told me " Hey you have 30 mins to laze.. you would be still in time for work... if the bus arrived just in time when you reached the bus stand

I really hate to wait for buses... spoilt for choices, i have the tendency to board the oncoming bus & catch the buses that can send me to work some bad habit i picked up during school days.. i was using the student pass!!.. no matter how many service i switched.. it wouldn't charge more or less...

Right now, 2.02am, WHAT DA HELL!!! , I'm still awake... oki.. a min pass.. it's 2.03am... Welcome to the World...where time is always RUNNING~~!!! tsk tsk.. Just how am i going to reconstruct my life... I need some discipline...real discipline...

There used to be this someone...who had the ability to make me go to bed b4 12am... constantly be my alarm clock for the morning..surprisingly.. nv failed to wake me up..or more like without going back to sleep...
Recently tried testing if he remember our past... subtlety..he avoided the topic...**shrugzz**.. I guess...I've really lost him...

Now, i have learnt to control my temper..some colleagues commented that i am bubbly & jovial... Have i really changed? or it's just my low-esteem & ego in the past that caused us to turn strangers? This.. i will nv be able to find out....